sap-media

Personalised HAYNES EXPLAINS Owner Workshop Manuals FUNNY Novelty GIFT Ideas

  • Sale
  • Regular price £15.49


  

Personalised Haynes Manual Novelty Fun Books
 
Written in the style of a mechanic’s manual, the popular and tongue-in-cheek Haynes series comes in 7 titles for your enjoyment. 
The ideal jokey gift for aspects of life that is important for many.
 
Each Book is personalised on the front cover with any name(s) & with any message included on the opening page.
 
The recipient’s Name(s) will also feature throughout the entire book.
 
These Haynes Manuals are available in hardback and measures 20.2 x 15.1 x 0.8 cm. 
 
A presentation box is also available at an extra cost.
 
All books come with fixed text on the front please see individual books for details.
 
Personalisation Details
Name – max 12 characters (inc spaces)
Name 2 – max 12 characters (inc spaces) – MARRIAGE MANUAL ONLY
Message line 1 – max 40 characters (inc spaces)
Message line 2 – max 40 characters (inc spaces)
 
Please place your Personalisation Requirements in the ‘message to seller’ section on the 
eBay checkout page or send through the eBay messaging system.
 
Your required personalisation will appear in the Font style & format as shown in picture eg upper or lower case.
 
Titles
 
Haynes Baby Manual
This Haynes Baby Manual is the perfect treat for new parents and will reassure them that all the hard work will pay off (in 18 years).
 
From production and delivery, oil changes, identifying leaks, and emission control, this owner's workshop manual will keep your parenting skills in tip top condition. The perfect gift for new or expecting parents, this manual is personalised throughout with the baby’s name at the top of each page and can include a message from you (cheeky or otherwise) on the opening page. 
 
Full of supportive advice this book has advice for parents ‘before’ and ‘after’ the baby arrives, like ‘production and delivery’ – in particular the 'dos' and 'don’ts' for men like, “Do tell her she’s doing really well” and do not “Say ‘this isn’t so bad, is it?’”.
 
Fixed Text: - THE BABY
 
 
Haynes Football Manual
Bill Shankly was definitely onto something when he claimed, “Some people think football is a matter of life and death”. Whether you’re a football fanatic or you’re looking for the perfect football gift, the Haynes Spoof Sports Manual will help you understand all aspects of the beautiful game.
 
In this Haynes Football manual you will find everything from flowcharts to diagrams, including instructions on how to understand ‘Wingers and Wing Mirrors’, ‘Penalty Points’ and more. A spoof on Haynes’ ‘strip down and rebuild’ manuals, this book will equip any novice with the appropriate lingo to uphold a steady conversation about football (or at least appear to be interested).
 
Fixed Text: - FOOTBALL & TO
 
Haynes Marriage Manual
Devilishly funny, this Haynes Marriage Manual is a comedic bible for couples who’ll think twice about getting hitched or prepare recently married couples for the years ahead. 
 
It’ll make a heart-warming gift for newlyweds, engagement or anniversary gift, They’ll identify their Names on the front cover and at the top of each page.
 
This manual includes expert guidance on how to get the most out of your marriage.
 
There is crucial advice on routine maintenance, pillow torque, spare tyres, & handling which will keep your marriage in tip top condition.
 
The book even includes pre-wedding advice such as stag/hen night dos and don’ts, such as ‘don’t go too far. Shave nothing that won’t grow back, apply no tattoos that can’t be easily removed, inflict no scars that won’t fade.’ Follow these tips and you’ll be a bickering couple well into your dotage.
 
Some say love and trust; others say faith and pixie dust. Good old Haynes has created a Haynes Explains Marriage Manual filled with wit and humour as if it could have been written by Ross Geller himself, as Haynes explains, “Marriage is like a deck of cards. To start with, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade”.
 
Charming and endearingly funny, the Haynes Marriage Manual is a light-hearted gift any couple will adore.
 
Fixed Text: - AND & MARRIAGE
 
Haynes Pensioner Manual 
This Haynes Retirement Manual makes the perfect retirement gift. Entering the age of retirement should be a happy time in life, and this little manual will definitely provide a few laughs.
Expert guidance on how to keep your pensioner in tip top condition & essential advice on ‘cruise control’, ‘rust prevention’, ‘high mileage’ and more!
 
As Haynes Explains, retirement is, “when you stop living at work and begin working at life”. That means you finally have time for yourself; to relax, enjoy golf, test out your new blotter at bingo and explain to your neighbour Sally why crochet is the art form of all knitting. 
 
This manual features illustrated diagrams on the ‘wear and tear’ of your pensioner, advice on ‘exercise for pensioners’ from cycling, triathlons, parkour and especially…how to deal with ‘OAP driving’.
 
Wholeheartedly tongue-in-cheek, this Personalised Haynes Pensioner Manual is a thing of comic-genius.
 
Fixed Text: - THE PENSIONER
Haynes Pets Manual
This Haynes funny Pet’s Manual is here to help you to understand your pet & covers felines, hamsters, rabbits, gerbils and canines! & how you can get the best from your pet.
 
It is a truth universally acknowledged that pets are considered actual members of the family. We Brits are a nation of pet lovers. Though our little furry friends may appear wide-eyed and loving, there’s a lot more going on behind all that fur. The Haynes Pets How-To Manual 
Based on Haynes ‘stripped down and rebuilt’ manuals, the Guide to Pets Gift Book is a comic spoof filled with flowcharts and diagrams to help you understand every animal model. Along with ‘Woofers’, ‘Tweeters’ and more, the recipient will learn that animals fundamentally want the same thing: food, water, shelter and the inestimable satisfaction of demanding to be let in/let out/ fed and heard at all times.
 
From the ultimate quiz to find out if you really are a ‘Cat Lady’, to the ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of teaching your intelligent avian friend, this Haynes manual is a unique gift for the pet lover in your life.
 
Fixed Text: - PETS & TO
 
Haynes Teenager Manual
This Haynes manual is a survival handbook to tackle the tempestuous teenager, Featuring key advice on ‘understanding teen English’, ‘connection problems’, ‘expenditure-schedules’ and more!
 
Trying to understand the teenager is like attempting to disarm a missile with a blowtorch – redundant and messy. The most sensible piece of advice to remember is you were once a teen and to put yourself into their shoes…then again, you slowly remember your teenager is a ‘mini you’ and you were a handful as well. 
 
Full of supportive advice this book includes gems of wisdom such as ‘to punish your teenager take them on holiday to a remote rural cottage where there is no mobile reception or broadband’ because nothing scares a teen more than no Wi-Fi. & the absolute ‘dos’ for parents like, “Do not enter their rooms without first donning rubber gloves and appropriate anti-bacterial shoe covers”. 
 
The best approach to tackle your tempestuous teenager is to discreetly give them this Haynes Teenager Manual. They’ll identify their Name on the front cover and at the top of each page. Once they begin reading, a light bulb moment may be triggered and you’ll both benefit from this survival guide. 
 
Fixed Text: - THE TEENAGER
 
Personalisation Details
Name – max 12 characters (inc spaces)
Name 2 – max 12 characters (inc spaces) – MARRIAGE MANUAL ONLY
Message line 1 – max 40 characters (inc spaces)
Message line 2 – max 40 characters (inc spaces)
 
Your required personalisation will appear in the Font style & format as shown in picture eg upper or lower case. 
Please double check spelling & punctuation.
Not all accents and symbols can be printed. Here are the special characters that are supported:
ÂÁÉÍÓÚÜÑ ?;:,.!-& âáéíóúüñ1234567890'<>”@